(Re) action figures

So, Wonder Wife and I were cruising the Value Village the other day, and I encountered two items that demanded some kind of response, so here they are.

The first was this little playset:

Okay, let's put aside the casual stereotyping and anime-style artwork for a second and look at a few details.

I long ago stopped expecting a toy like this to have much historical accuracy, but who in Sam Hill is this?

I'm not even sure what country this guy is from - he looks like a storybook prince or a Gilbert and Sullivan supernumerary.

And what's up with this?

I am pretty sure 16th century Native Americans in what is now Virginia did not wear Kaiser Bill mustaches.

And finally, the package trumpets these accoutrements:

Umm...

I'm not sure how swords, an axe, a carbine, and a serrated machete are safety weapons. For that matter, what are safety weapons anyway?

A few paces down the aisle from this confusing collection, I came across this cellophaned woman:

I'm not sure what caught my eye, since she's a fairly mundane figure and I don't recognize the character, but a closer inspection of her right hand revealed this somewhat disturbing sight:

It seems a giantess is carrying this dude around, and he's digging it. I think I ran across that website once.

As they say, Value Village - Discover Your Treasures Today.